Is Infertility Making You Crazy?
There’s no doubt about it, many Millennial Moms know all too well about infertility. Whether you’ve seen someone posting about #ttc (trying to conceive) or #infertilityawareness, or your best friend is going through fertility treatments at this very moment, infertility is a beast that has exploded in millennial families.
So why is infertility making you crazy?
Why is the simple fact that you may or may not bear children causing you to lose sleep, gain mass quantities of weight, or want to throw your phone through the window after scrolling social media for .5 seconds?
Why is infertility SUCH a beast?
Here are the top 3 reasons infertility is making you crazy:
Need I say more?
If you see one more baby bump, one more ultrasound picture, or one more ridiculously over-planned but super adorable pregnancy announcement, you’re going to lose your shit. If you see one more model-worthy child dressed in a big sister shirt announcing the great news, you might consider getting a flip-phone and never seeing cyberspace again. And possibly the worst, the Facebook mom complaining about her pregnancy-cue the eye roll. It’s like torture to the soul, brought on by Millennials Moms ourselves. Why do we put ourselves through this? Why can’t we log out and never log in again? If social media didn’t exist, the daily Pinterest-worthy reminder that you aren’t pregnant would be non-existent.
After scrolling through your daily news feed is a huge distraction. Thinking you want to drown your sorrows in wine and chocolate (probably followed by chips and Netflix Parenthood binge, because why not torture yourself even more?), you begin feeling guilty for not being genuinely happy for all of these amazing families who are experiencing exactly what it is you long to have. After watching your best friend cut into a perfectly decorated cake, seeing the inside filled with pink icing (because you two were planning on getting pregnant at the same time and raising girls together) and wishing that was you, you feel like such a hypocrite for not being overjoyed for her. When you get your thirty-fifth baby shower invitation in the mail, and you just can’t muster up the energy to put a smile on your face to go, you question the type of person you really are. The guilt. Oh, the guilt. It is real, and it is painful.
The Unforeseen Future
All of the sudden you start thinking irrationally…”Well, since we can’t have kids, I guess we should sell all of our belongings and move to a 3rd world country to become missionaries. Or maybe we need to wait around to see if a family member dies and we are supposed to be here to take care of their kids. Oh but maybe we need to completely ditch our careers that we’ve worked so hard on for the last five years, go back to school, and get into major financial debt trying to become something different since this whole kid thing isn’t working out.
What’s going to happen to me when we are older if we don’t have kids? No one is going to take care of us. No one will love us as our kids would love us. Should we secure a stable nursing home spot now, just in case?” Ah, yes, this kind of internal dialogue will remind you that not only are you not getting pregnant but also you’ve lost your damn mind. The unforeseen future-scary, but suddenly at your doorstep.
If you’re facing infertility and you feel like admitting yourself into the hospital (or maybe just the local wine bar or pub), you are not alone. It can make the sanest person feel like a complete nut-job, one negative pregnancy test at a time. I’ve been there. I have felt like a lunatic. I have declined baby shower invitations for some of my closest friends and family.
I have rolled my eyes one too many times scrolling through social media seeing people building perfect families wishing they were mine. The beast that is infertility is real. It can be all-consuming, energy-sucking, and outright depressing. You are not alone. This will get better, and one day, you will not feel so damn crazy anymore-
Feature Photo: Photo by María Victoria Heredia Reyes